Story of,
This is the story of one Will Locascio. Locascio is currently race age 17, and after Nationals was ranked 10th overall. Last December, Locascio was diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and later, he was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. This is his story.
“A lot of people think it's [OCD] being super neat and organized,” Locascio said. “That's just a small part of it. It sort of pitches thoughts in your brain. They appear to be real, when they're really false and unrealistic.”
Before Locascio was diagnosed with OCD, and anxiety, he had hints of depression in his life for years.
“I guess I sort of had instances,” Locascio said. “In middle school. And like the early years of high school where I was thinking I probably had depression from the class. I was having just the sort of like, lows in my mood that I would get on a regular basis. But I never actually fully went out and said that I have that.”
The first hints of OCD and anxiety came much later but the depression took form as a by-product of Locascio’s severe OCD.
“I first started getting like really panicky,” Locascio said. “I would just let them sit in my mind [bad thoughts] without really talking about it very much. That sort of led to some of the other symptoms of OCD, which is false memories. I wasn't really sure what was going on, and I was just giving into the compulsions as they came so I was pretty much letting it get out of control.”
As it got worse, Locascio sought out the help he needed and deserved.
“I started seeing a therapist, who I still see weekly,” Locascio said. “And then I was also going to my doctor for medication prescriptions. And then after a little while, I'd start going to a group therapy place for me because they had more options to medicines.”
Though Locascio’s story seems dark, there is a light at the end of the tunnel in which he finds a reprieve from the compulsions and dark thoughts.
“It's definitely helped [triathlon]” Locascio said. “there was a pretty long period, and it still happens on some days now, where, I have trouble even getting out of the house, just because of everything going on. if I wasn't so focused on triathlon, then I probably wouldn't have had any other reasons to get out of the house those days.”
Triathlon still has a negative effect on his life. The anxiety still intrudes his mind on the start line, throwing his races off course.
“A lot of people don't really know what it's like to train as much as all of us,” Locascio said. “And then when you add in all the stuff that was going on, that is going on,
I started it started sort of feeling like an outsider. Like I'm not always training to my full potential because of everything going on.”
The mental struggles Locascio faces are like any race: Unpredictable and unruly.
“With the OCD you don't really ever know what it's going to latch on to each day,” Locascio said. “So, I'll just be in the pool or running when all of a sudden, it just latches onto something that looks normal to everyone else. But I just can't move on with my day without doing whatever it is that I feel compelled to do. And that can take a lot of time in my day”
Locascio has problems doing simple tasks just because the compulsions are so great in his mind.
“For a long time, it was with driving,” Locascio said. “It took me hours, just getting from one place to another. And then when you constantly have all these worries and fears of what could be wrong, what can be real on your mind, it's hard to put all your effort into your training.”
In the past 18 months, Locascio has lost three friends, two to suicide. Their loss took a toll on his mental health
“And then on a day where it's like the depression is bad. You just sort of just feel like you're going through the motions,” Locascio said. “But nothing that you do really affects anything. It's just sort of like a monotonous day.”
Despite the mountains Locascio has had to overcome, he still has hope and does his best to take care of himself and his friends.
“One thing that is helpful, obviously, I'm not the best example because I still have quite a bit of work to do to get myself healthy,” Locascio said. “Is to take me maybe just like a night or morning to just not think about racing or training. Like doing something with your family or friends. That’s a good way to sort of like just relax for a few hours and get away from the sort of loneliness that comes with training every day.”
This ending paragraph will be a bit different than most. I wanted to write this story because will is a male in the YE and JE series. He’s only the second male to volunteer his story. Mental health for men is just as important for women, and I know that it’s difficult for guys to open because of stereotypes and self-consciousness but this is just as important. Mental illness does not discriminate. It doesn’t only affect a certain group or gender. It is an epidemic spread throughout everyone, and everyone’s story needs to be told.
Yours truly,
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