This is the story of Kayla Hartzel...

Story of Kayla Hartzel

This is the story of one Kayla Hartzel. Kayla is in her 2nd year of triathlon, and her first year doing Elite YE and JE triathlons. With experience in swimming and cycling, she decided to give triathlons a tri (pun intended) and has fallen in love with the sport. But Hartzel felt like she couldn’t trust people close to her, and as a result her depression developed, not because of sport but something else entirely.

“I felt like sometimes I couldn't rely on my parents to have my back,” Hartzel said, “So, it just kind of spiraled down from there.”

Not having a saddle or something to lean on affects everyone in a different, and not usually for the better.

“Overall, I was more aggressive, but not in a good way,” Hartel said. “Even in school, I'd have problems with random stuff because it would just bother me thinking that I wouldn't have anyone behind me having my back.”

Being new to the sport, Hartzel got to experience a lot more than triathlon compared to athletes who’ve been doing the sport for years.

“Before triathlon I tried every sport imaginable,” Hartzel said. “From horseback riding, basketball, soccer, until I finally picked up swimming around like, three or four years ago. I quit all my sports for swimming. I decided that was my thing. But then during the time, I'd also been running just to stay in shape. And that's what I decided like, ‘Oh, I've always liked to bike like, I think triathlon could be a good sport for me.’

Even though she made the decision to do triathlon at a later age, she still caught a few curve balls through the transition.

“I knew coming into it, triathlon would be hard but, I didn't know how hard until I got myself into it,” Hartzel said. “It's a lot harder than I expected because I could do every sport perfectly fine on its own, but I never really pieced together how hard it would be together until I raced.”

Along with dealing with the physical grit it took to handle the new multi-sport, Hartzel had to deal with the mentalily she would have to have during the race.

“I get super super nervous every single time I race,” Hartzel said. “But when I'm training, it's always my time to vent and just let out all my energy. Normally the swim is where I’m super nervous. And that's where I think about all my problems. And I'm like, ‘Oh, therefore I will do well or something.’”

Dealing with her own struggles isn’t the only adversity Hartzel has faced. She’s seen negativity in the athletes and community around her.

“When I came into the triathlon community, I thought everyone was going to be always happy because like, they're like, doing what they love,” Hartzel said. “And I always see happy cyclists or happy swimmers. But then when I got to triathlon I was surprised how many people get so depressed or hung up on their training like they're not enjoying it at that point. They almost do it out of practice, and not out of love.”

Have we turned into triathlete zombies? Started this journey to be pulled into it like a black hole? Unable to escape. Unable to know if we want to escape or just keep living the routine of get up, kill ourselves for a dream, and repeat? We all have problems but how much attention do we pay to those problems instead of just getting in this one last workout. Sometimes we need to take a moment and breathe. We need the reason why we do this and keep our mental health in check. We need to support each other through this. We need each other to get through this because this sport will truly know who you are, and we need each other because the truth of who we are can be scary.

Yours truly,